As a mom of two amazing kids, I know how tough it can be to raise capable and emotionally intelligent children. My son, now an adult, is a software engineer, and my high school senior daughter is excelling in her studies. Both of my children, like me, were diagnosed with ADHD. Growing up in the islands, I had no idea what that diagnosis meant. It wasn’t until we moved to the USA that we got the help and support we needed. With the help of therapy and my faith in God, I was able to support their emotional wellness, and now they’re thriving.
The way we communicate with our children plays a crucial role in their development. At Mom's Choice Nanny Agency, we emphasize the importance of supportive communication to help children thrive. Here are five common phrases to avoid and what to say instead:
“You are being very bad.”
Children aren’t bad—they might be struggling with their emotions or identity. Instead of labeling their behavior, acknowledge their feelings:
Say this: “I see you’re feeling frustrated and are doing things you don’t normally do. Can I help you work out what is going on?”
2. “You’re overreacting!”
Dismissing a child's feelings can be harmful. Even if you need time to process, let them know their feelings are valid:
Say this: “I need a moment to cool down. Let’s take a quick break and try again later.”
3. “That’s not so bad. You will get over it.”
Invalidating their experience can make them feel ashamed of their emotions. Show empathy and concern instead:
Say this: “I hear you. That sounds hard! What can I do to help?”
4. “Stop crying!”
Crying is a natural way to release emotions. Instead of stopping it, offer comfort or a distraction:
Say this: “Would you like me to hold you and comfort you?” or “Would you like to go for a walk or a drive?”
5. “Because I said so.”
Explaining your reasoning helps children understand boundaries and develops their reasoning skills:
Say this: “I don’t want you to climb that tree because it’s dangerous. You could fall and hurt yourself.”
By choosing our words carefully, we can help our children grow into emotionally intelligent and resilient individuals. Raising emotionally intelligent and resilient children can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Here are two valuable resources where parents and caregivers can find expert advice and support:
Child Mind Institute: Offers a wealth of resources, including articles, guides, and expert advice on child development, mental health, and effective parenting strategies.
Visit: https://childmind.org/
Zero to Three: Provides valuable information and support for parents and caregivers of young children, focusing on early childhood development, parenting tips, and resources to foster healthy growth and emotional well-being. Visit: https://www.zerotothree.org/
At Mom's Choice Nanny Agency, we are committed to supporting you in your parenting journey. Together, we can help our children thrive.
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